Brian Schneider, erstwhile Phillies backup catcher and infamous Viking pillager, has announced his retirement from professional baseball after 18 seasons. We expect to continue plundering and pillaging Saxon villages for many more seasons to come.

After eight years with the Montreal Expos Montrashingon Expotionals and two more with the Mets; Brian Schneider came to Philadelphia in full battle regalia, with the wind at his back and two skulls of mead. Initially signed for a 2/$1.375M deal in 2010, Schneider began his Phillies career largely under the radar, a valuable skill when sailing up the English coast. After a trip to the DL in early 2010, he struggled mightily, at one point boasting a triple-slash line (BA/OBP/SLG) of .143/.250/.143.