It is the habit in these dreary season-ending post-mortems to begin with a gauzy retrospective through the “highlights” of the year.
Generally speaking, there were no failures. Only “learning opportunities” and “growing pains” and “proof of God, but not in a good way.”
About 30 seconds in, you begin to slide out of your chair. Things are going sideways. The rhetorical dissonance of the intro — “Hey, I realize we were awful, but here’s why things are great” — sends everything in the room into a great confusion, nicking up the speaker. That in turn fuels the bloodletting of the next 30 minutes as each half-baked platitude is turned squinting toward the light.
The majority of general managers don’t take any trouble to develop this part of their game, though it is, for the ones who front losing teams at least, the most crucial half-hour of their season.
In cementing his version of the season that’s been, Raptors GM Bryan Colangelo proved that not all great sports performances happen within the boundary lines of play. He’s often at his worst when offhandedly trying to spin things, but proved Monday that given the time to think out his position, he is a formidable orator and an even better pitch man.

The Colangelo we saw on Monday would’ve had you bullish on the Washington Generals.
Most guys start with a short, mumbling shower of clichés. Colangelo began with a nine-minute filibuster dotted with paranoid defiance.
“We are not in a position that is entirely unfamiliar,” Colangelo said near the outset. That’s clever — unsettle them with the truth.
He listed off every criticism levelled against his this year — that he jumped the gun on signing DeMar DeRozan, that they rushed Jonas Valanciunas into the starting lineup, that he overrated Kyle Lowry, that he hamstrung the club by taking on Rudy Gay’s mammoth contract — and turned them into great successes.