If you want a trip back in a time machine, look back at the community projection for Matt Cain and read how worried we all were about Matt Cain leaving the Giants. That was a thing once -- the monster under our bed. I was so worried the Yankees were going to sign him.

If we all knew Dodgers were going to act like they were on shore leave with fistfuls of cash, we would have started a hunger strike until Cain was signed.

The Giants signed him. And considering what Cole Hamels signed for (6/$133 million with a $20 million option) and what Zack Greinke signed for ($49 billion, a Hawaiian island, and all of the benefits of being a werewolf without any of the downside), the remaining five years and $107.5 million (with a $21 million option) on Cain's deal is below-market value. Man, that happened quickly. It's amazing what a healthy, excellent year already in the books will do to the perception of that deal.

If that deal wasn't in place, Matt Cain would be a Dodger. I know you would like to think Cain is too pure, that he knows his flesh would peel back the second the Dodgers' uniform touched it. But the Dodgers would have offered him so much money -- so much more than the Giants -- that he would have temporarily forgotten about that. He would have sat around a kitchen table with his wife, head in hands, thinking about what the extra $20 million could mean for future generations of Cain, for favorite charities, for ailing schools, for hovercrafts with cloaking devices that allow you to sneak up on ducks and shoot the hell out of them.

In the very, very best-case scenario, the Giants would have kept him by beating (or coming close to) the Dodgers' offer. Greinke is signed for an extra year and $40 million more than Cain as of right now. If the Giants were involved, the Dodgers would have done some National Geographic crap -- something between a silverback beating its chest and a hyena tinkling on a tree -- to prove their natural dominance in the free-agent world. It wouldn't have been just a free-agent signing to them; it would have been a cause.