It disturbs Kyle Turley, knowing how close he came.

While most would dare not believe they can understand Junior Seau's state of mind a year ago this Thursday, dare not attempt to solve the rationale why the retired Chargers linebacker ended his own life in an Oceanside community where he was so loved, Turley says he identifies with Seau.

He believes he knows where he's been.

He's stood on that same ledge.

It took a phone call in a Nashville parking lot to save him.

“I've got young kids,” said Turley, a father of a 2-year-old daughter and a 4-year-old son. “It's scary as hell. It keeps me up at night. It's something that weighs on me heavily.”

The retired All-Pro offensive tackle and former All-American at San Diego State has a message, and it's flagged as urgent. He takes two pills a day, morning and night, to control a mind he fears will prove degenerative over time. He fights intense impulses that unpredictably come and go. As for where all this is headed, he fears the worst.

What he doesn't want is to shove his cognitive issues into the dark, never to be talked about.

What he doesn't want is to accept a culture he perceived as problematic as it relates to concussions during his career.

He wants to have a conversation.